A new year….wow. 2008 flew by. I am one of those people that really cherish the beginning of a new year, a fresh slate, a clean start. I think those of us that are planners to a fault (I freaking love making list and filling out calendar) get a little giddy around Jan 1. This year is no exception. When I look back on 2008, it is filled with mixed emotions. The year got off to a horrible start with the unsuspected, premature death of my father. My father and I were did not have the type of relationship where we talked every day or even month, mostly he just answered the phone when I called and we exchanged small talk, but we were undeniably close as I was always daddy’s little girl. We were so much alike that it was hard to not feel like he was part of my cloth. I go many days without thinking about him and then BAM it hits me – my father is dead, I am 29 years old and have no father. It is usually something little a white Explorer will drive by (what he drove) or a box of chocolate covered cherries will sneak up on me in a store (his fav) and my insides will be reduced to mush. It’s almost been a year, but it doesn’t sting any less.

The months that followed I was very numb and I don’t recall many particulars, but I had some definite fitness highlights. I was training for the Cincinnati marathon and was very proud of myself b/c I got out there in many a snowstorm and ran my butt off, many times alone. I had my 2 best 30Ks ever in Feb and March. My running pace was finally coming down and I found in 5Ks that I could easily hold under a 9 min pace. This was new for me! On my long distance runs I was constantly well below a 10 min pace, giving me hope of being well under my goal of 4:20 for Cinti. Unfortunately a foot injury got a hold of me with a vengeance and I opted to sit Cincinnati out and took a whole month off of running. In May I had an awesome trip to Lake Placid with my friend Kim and her training group to ride and run the IM Lake Placid course. That was lesson in humility! But I was able to get through 1 loop biking and 13 miles running. The summer was full of lots of training. It seemed that every Sat & Sun were ruled by running, biking or bricks. I enjoyed training with some people from the tri club like Beth, Jen, Tracie, Janet, Gina and Laura P! As well as my normal running companions Sara, Sherri, Ilana and Karen! I felt good and strong. I only did 2 sprint tris b/c I found out the hard way that I am absolutely terrified of open water swimming, yikes! My tri future is uncertain at this point as I have only swam a handful of times since July. Not good! But I found that I really do love biking and running, so if those are the races I stick to next year than I am fine with it! Gary also got a road bike in June and we started riding together weekly, which was great. I look forward to getting back on the road with him in 2009! In late summer I started training for Akron and my times on my long runs were even better. I markedly upped by running miles and was averaging around 30ish miles running a week and 50 biking. All the biking helped and I saw my times on my long runs continue to come down. I thought I might have a shot at getting near 4:00 for the Akron marathon in Sept….until I got pregnant!

What! Yes, just like that. Gary and I had talked about it, but I thought it would take us awhile, but I was wrong. I knew I wasn’t feeling well in Aug, but thought there was just no way I was baking a baby, but I was. I continued to run 10-15 miles for my long runs for the first month or so of pregnancy to keep Sara company on her marathon training. But come Oct, I was slowing way down. In Sept, I did a marathon relay with 4 other pregnant women and we finished in under 4 hours! That was great and we even got to be in the paper. In Oct Gary and I went to CA & OR on vacation where the baby and I did a half marathon. But that was about it, I knew from that race that the running was coming to an end as I was sick for a few days afterwards and my feet and belly ached. Since then I have been trying to keep up the exercise, I have good weeks and bad. The loss of my beloved Taiko in November was just awful and led to a horrible month. Ugh then we got a really bad puppy!

2009 is scary people. I am having a baby! Hold the phone. I am going to be responsible for keeping another human alive. Eek. And I turn 30, double Eek!!! All joking aside, I can’t wait to meet this little monster and work hard to get back on my feet. I think I won’t be setting any big goals for 2009. I would like to see myself at least ready for half marathons by the fall. I want to concentrate on getting the weight off and getting back under 9 min miles before I worry about another marathon or endurance event. If I can get myself back in the pool soon, I’d like to think I could do the same 2 sprint tris I did last year and they were in small inland lakes and I didn’t have much issue with those. I would also like to do Eddy’s Sweet Corn challenge, at least the 50 miler. I think that is enough to think about. I do know that 2009 will probably be the best year yet.

I have to admit something. I have been a junk food junkie in a bad way over the last month or two (or three, eek). To the point where I now think nothing of grazing out of the candy jars strewn around my work place all day long. I have had issues with sugar in the past. I liken it to an alcohol addiction. Once I am used to it, I have to have it. I started "over" today and I have already had to sit myself down twice and give myself a talking too b/c I was talking myself into starburst from the vending machine! Not the best for baby at all and not the best for my waist line. I have already gained what I had hoped to gain in the total pregnancy. Now, no worries and I don’t need any comments about how I look great, etc. I don’t look too bad and I understand that I am pregnant and this is what happens. But the fact of the matter is you are suppose to gain 25-30 lbs for an entire pregnancy, not just the first 6 months! So, it stops right now. All the holidays are behind me. I am watching what I eat, not cutting calories by any means, but trimming the junk and trying to get back to wholesome foods. If I don’t get this under control now, I will have an awful time after the baby is out and I am tired and stressed, and I will jump face first into cakes and ice cream. I am cutting out all excess sugar and refined whites and dairy! Why dairy? B/c I am lactose intolerent and I have been lazy with it lately and eating ice cream, etc and my belly hurts. So, far so good today. I think I will feel better overall if I can get my eating back in gear as well. Workouts were pretty non existent last week, but that’s okay with the travel and all. Here's the plan for the rest of the week:

Tuesday - circuit, 30 mins split between hill machine and cross country skier
Wed - 45 min Aerobics DVD
Thurs - Run with Sara - 4-6 miles
Fri- Spin class
Sat - circuit and 1 hour cardio
Sun - spin class, weights

Okay holidays are over...well we still have one more visit with G's mom. I am honestly not a very big fan of the holidays and am glad to have them behind me (just too much rush, money and chaos). It was wonderful to see my family though. I always love to get to spend time with my mom and sister Tina and her hubby Tim, but this year was extra special b/c my other sister Melanie and her hubby and kids were in town. They moved to SC awhile back and we just don't see each other enough. So, it was awesome to see them and spend time together. But back to reality. I am glad we have a short work week this week, that will be nice. I have a monthly doc appt on Wed. I plan to talk to him about any ideas to help with the fact that my back is killing me. Hopefully he will have some ideas on some things to try to alleviate the low back aches. My eating has been out of control lately, so I am going to make a conscious effort to cut back on sugar starting tomorrow. Holiday junk be gone!

Me that's who. Boy was our parking lot empty at work this morning. I am only here until 11:30 then G is picking me up and we are heading to KY to see my family for Xmas. We have to take the dogs, which is just not fun on a 7 hour drive, but oh well. Thems the breaks.

Did you have a good Xmas bloggy friends? We did. I managed to get to the gym on Wednesday and do a circuit and some cardio and then on Thurs I met Sara and Harley at South Chagrin and while they ran up the hill, I powerwalked it. I got 4 miles into their 6, not too bad. I can't really run hills anymore, it's just not happening. I am also finding that I am pretty much sore after I excercise every time. I think it's just the extra weight on my frame. It's hard being short!

Not too bad? I have gained a little more than I would have wanted so far, but I think it will all even out. I can't say that I haven't eaten like a crazy women for the last 5 months b/c I kinda have! Que sera. I did get in 4 good workouts last week and worked out yesterday, so 1 so far this week. I hope to get in 6 workouts a week, but am likely not to hit that goal until after Xmas. I was supposed to run outside after work, but it is cold ya'll, so I think I will retreat to the safety of a spin class instead.

I can't believe it's Xmas already. I really don't feel very Xmasy this year. Here is a funny pic from last night, I caught the dogs sleeping this way, took a pic, and then rotated Fonzi as no one should be sleeping with a butt on their forehead. What a little Butthead.

I had a horrible day at work yesterday, just horrid. But after work I met Sara and we ran 3 miles from Harper Ridge Picnic Area of South Chagrin towards Richmond Road. It was cold and lightly snowing. But I am so glad I got out there. It's a hill run, you get some downhill, but boy do you have to go back up. The first mile felt pretty bad, just too much pressure in my lower abdomen, but it got easier as we went on. I am definitely not capable of getting all the way back up the hill without breaks anymore, but still glad I am running even if it's slow and short! So, yeah me 3 workouts in 3 days! Tonight we are meeting Gary's cousin Katie and her hubby and new baby for dinner. So, I doubt I will workout tonight, but I will enjoy my California Pizza Kitchen Pizza!

2 workouts in 2 days, yeah! Haha, it’s amazing that getting 2 workouts in is now an accomplishment to me, my how pregnancy changes things. I went last night to my first spinning class in months! It was at 7:30, which was a little tough for me, but I hope to do it weekly as it gives me enough time to get home feed the dogs, eat dinner with the hubby and still make it to the gym for a good workout. The spinning studio at Urban Active is really nice. It’s a circular room and the instructor is up on a little stage in front. The bikes are new, but unfortunately don’t have cadence computers. The room has this gigantic metal fan that is above your heads, it’s kind of scary. I just kept thinking, what if that thing falls down on us, it would chop us all up. I was a little skeptical when I walked into the class. I am used to the 6am JCC class which is made up of mostly real cyclist, not just gym spinners. The instructor was decked out in cute black yoga pants with a pink tattoo design up the leg, matching pink top and this mini cardigan sweater top. Not your typical cycling wear, so I thought I was in for a sucky workout, but she was actually very good. There were very few people in the class and I was one of only two wearing padded bike shorts and clip on shoes, so definitely not a cyclist class, but still am awesome workout. The music was really loud and crappy, but it was better than most of the torturous music the spinning instructor at the JCC played. I am most definitely out of biking shape, ugh. My butt is sore today. But I am happy to be sore, it’s been awhile.

I am going to go join Urban Active this weekend. I was going to wait a few months until the house renovations had calmed down, but I just can't take it anymore. I haven't been in a steady workout routine since the half marathon in Oct, which is just entirely too long. I feel very off kilter and out of it and I really don't think it's baby related, I think it's my body freaking out b/c it's used to working out 6-10 hours a week and I'm working out all of 2 hours a week if I am having a good week. So, instead of both G and I joining, I am going to join monthly and then later we can change to the family membership. My lovely husband just has too much to do on the house and we know he won't go, so why waste the money?

My goal is to go 3-4 times a week. That's it. My plan is to make it before work once during the work week and once after work during the work week, then on both Sat and Sun. My Sat & Sun workouts I hope to consist of an hour of cardio and then weights. The mid week ones might be shorter. If I can do this and still get one short run in on my own during the week, plus weights during the week nights when I am just being lazy and watching tv, it would be fantastic. Plus I have walked on lunch a few times now during lunch and can get 2 miles in and if I can do that twice a week! I'll be able to get through this pregnancy and maintain some sort of muscle tone. Well, that is my hope anyway. It's getting hard for me to run outside and I can't keep up with my friends anyway, so I might be abandoning my weekend long runs with friends for the safety of the dreadmill. I cannot tell you how much I hate the dreadmill, but I don't see much other choice considering I can only peel off an 11-12 min mile and I have to pee at least twice within an hour.

It looks to be a good weekend. Sat is Gary's 33rd b-day and we have lunch plans with his mom and I am going to pick him up an ice cream cake on my way home from work today, plus I got him some gifts. His mom got him an Xbox so he'll have some fun playing video games on his down time now. Sunday I get to go to a get together of triathlon/running lady friends and I am very much looking forward to that as I have missed these ladies since I haven't been distance training.

I ordered some new DVDs from the lovely Netflix so that I could work out at home. I did one last night that I liked, it was some ballet lady and it was yoga/pilates fushion. My belly is sore in a good way today. My plan is to keep a DVD for 2 weeks and do it 2-3 times a week, and then do my standard Slim in Six (lunges, squats, weights) 2-3 times a week. Then send it back and get a new one. I also think I need to join the gym sooner than I was expecting. Getting outside in this weather is just not going well which means my cardio is null and void. So after Xmas off to Urban Active I will go ready to give them a large sum of money. Yikes.

Seriously could we get some more snow and rain here in Cleveland? What a wet 2 months we have had. On the good news front, my lovely husband has been busting his ass the past few weeks getting our nasty unfinished basement finished! He repaired the drywall damage on one wall and the ceiling. He repainted the ceilings white and the walls a bright yellow we agreed on. We were going to get carpet, but after getting a quote for a looottt of money we got paranoid that it would get damp down there eventually and ruin the carpet. So, we opted for this flooring made out of recycled tires, how green of us. It comes in big puzzle pieces and it looks like a floor you would see in a gym. Which is pretty appropriate b/c one side of the basement will have a weight bench and all the free weights and then the middle of the room will have our cushy futon and a tv/xbox setup and then our 2 bikes on trainers in view of the tv. I hope it will be nice enough down there that someone could sleep and not feel like they are in our gross basement. It will also become a much needed storage area for all things baby I am sure. Baby things are so stinking big – excersaucers, pack and plays, swings, high chairs, who has room for all this stuff! I expect our basement to be sleep ready by Jan 1. I will take some pics. Next room after that to get a makeover is our office, it will be turned into the guest room. It’s tiny so it will be minimalist at best.

Why oh why oh why can’t I wake up in the morning anymore? Not so long ago bloggy friends I was a morning person. I have been struggling with morning workouts since sometime this summer, well before I got knocked up. I recall making a go at 5:30 workouts again at some point, but I was so thrashed from my weekend warrior ways that I never got back to it. Now my dear hubby is off of night shifts after several months of working 8pm to 7 am. He is now getting up at 5:30. He takes the pup out and puts the pup back in bed with me. Pup does not go to sleep and I no longer fall asleep as easily as I used to, that I believe it baby related. It’s harder to get comfortable for one thing and the other is I just lay there with my head a jumble. Anyway, so I wake up at 5:30 too, and lay there half awake until 6:45 – 7ish. Why oh why don’t I just get my ass out of bed and work out? I am so tired when I get home from work that it’s not happening often. So, since I’m not getting quality sleep during this 5:30 to 7 window, wouldn’t it make sense just to get up??? But alas I just can’t seem to muster the willpower, any ideas bloggy friends? I think my real problem is that I have an hour or two in the middle of the night where I lay awake. As I said I can’t fall asleep very well right now, so when puppy wakes me around 2 or 3 to go out, I drift in and out of conscientiousness until 5am sometimes. I do go to bed at like 9:30 though… But regardless b/c of this mid night wake up I am just totally woozy when G gets up and can’t seem to get it together.

I have firmly decided that all those people who say that being pregnant in the winter as opposed to the summer are dead wrong. If I do this again, and it’s planned, I will be getting pregnant shortly after the new year. Being pregnant equals feeling tired and lazy all the time. Winter’s short days equals feeling tired and lazy all the time. Not a good combo! Now I know some will say you don’t want to have a newborn in the winter, but I don’t care, they are wrong J Being most pregnant when it’s warm also means you get to wear flowy little dresses and flats. Being pregnant when it’s cold means I have to have jeans and tops and coats and ugh. Okay rant over.

I have always lived my life on one extreme or the other when it comes to weight/working out. I was either going all out or being a total slug. I have no lived up to the place I wanted to so far in this pregnancy. I have been lucky to get in 2-3 workouts a week. In my world that is not acceptable. This is all raw for me today b/c I saw a new baby doctor and he basically told me I’ve gained too much weight and I need to watch it. Tell me something I don’t know Einstein. I am really struggling to get any kind of motivation back. Normally I was training for something and even if I didn’t make the race (like the Flying Pig b/c of my foot injury or GCT b/c of my stupid fear of the lake) I went through the motions and got the workouts in. I loved checking a workout off my list. Now I just want to sleep, well and eat. So I am struggling. I know I need to readjust my goals. I tried by saying I would just shoot for 5 workouts a week, but unfortunately I haven’t been meeting those. Ugh, this all sucks.

Please stick with me bloggy friends, when this baby is out of me there will be a lot of workout things to talk about as I journey back to my original body. I can’t wait to work on getting faster and doing some half marathons and hopefully sprint tris. We let our gym membership at the JCC lapse, but we are joining Urban Active next year. We are going to wait a few months to join b/c we have so much to do around the house we know we won’t be going. Hopefully a change of scenery (gym wise) will do me good.

I will tell you though, I love being pregnant. It’s been great so far and now the baby is really kicking up a storm and everything is so surreal. For me it’s been such an odd shift in how I feel as a person, I am doing something, something that matters…for once. I cannot wait to meet our child and see who it takes after. I was kind of indifferent to having children. I figured I could be happy either way, but now I am already so in love with this baby I don’t know how I ever lived without it. It’s just crazy. I am scared to death to think of what has to go down near the end of April. Can’t even bring myself to read about it, b/c I just don’t want to know. But I know in the end the weight gain, the mushy body, the sleepless nights will all be worth it.