Monday, May 18, 2009

Struggling

I find that I am struggling a bit. I am a very regimented type A personality. I like to make a list and check off things as I get them accomplished. Of course my logical side knows that when you have an infant everything goes out the door, your job is simply to keep them alive. I adore my little Harper, but the kid doesn't sleep much. I am finding it ridiculously hard to get anything done. Take today for instance. Last night I put her down to sleep at 10pm, she was half asleep and woke up immediately when I put her in the crib. I let her fuss a little, rubbed her belly, but left her in the crib. She finally passed out around 11. She slept well until 3am. At this point I got her up and fed her, changed her diaper and put her back in her crib. She would not go back to sleep, after almost an hour of trying, I climbed into the bed in the nursery and slept with her on my chest. She slept on and off the rest of the morning and I finally peeled myself out of bed at around 9:30am after several more short feedings and little actual sleep. We had a date to meet our cousin for lunch at 11:30, so I knew i needed over an hour to get myself and her ready. I handed her off to Gary and got myself ready, then gave Harper a bath. She slept a bit while I was getting ready. We headed to Chipotle and she slept in the baby Bjorn the whole time we were there (until about 1), but I couldn't very well take a nap could I! So, when I got home she wanted to eat, and was wide awake. So, I got some things done on the computer and played with her. At around 3 she started acting tired, so I took her upstairs and put her in the cradle in our room, for 30 mins off an on she would fall asleep, wake up 5 mins later and fuss, then repeat. So, I never really fell asleep. When I finally did around 3:40, my dogs charged into the room and woke me up, so I gave up. From there I took one dog for a walk, but have one more dog to walk. Gary is working on the front porch, so he can't watch the baby. I need to walk Mushi, vacuum, make dinner and run. I just want to scream. I have to readjust my day. Starting tomorrow I am going to try and just peel myself out of bed at 6ish am. I don't get any real sleep those last few morning hours. So maybe if I get up and put Harper in the sling I can get whatever housework needs to be done done, then take a nap when she really goes back to sleep around 10ish.... If I have time left over I can get the dog walks over with. As far as my days go I think taking care of Harper is of course number 1, then walking the dogs, then getting a nap, then getting my workout in, then house work. I need to remember that and do things in that order.

In a few weeks Harper will be old enough to take to the gym daycare. I am not pumped about leaving her there, but the gym is small and they will come get me to change her diaper or if she gets fussy and I can leave her there for 2 hours! If I can time it with when she is sleepy, like early morning 9-10ish, then hopefully she will just sleep while I work out. Once a week my friend L and I are going to try and rotate houses. I will watch her son and Harper while she runs, and then she will watch them while I run. Hopefully that will not be too much trouble for us and we can keep that date up. I just want to get back in shape at this point. I don't care if I can run 10 miles or if I can run fast. I just care if I see a 12 or 13 at the beginning of my weight so my clothes fit.

6 comments:

Angela said...

You are definitely going thru the typical struggle we all faced. So you're not alone. It really does take little ones a while to get their days and nights right...just try to stick to a schedule as much as you can and that will help tremendously.

About the weight, lots of women say that they lost the pregnancy weight very quickly with breast feeding but I found that I kept on about 10-15 pounds of weight until after I stopped. Once I stopped, it took about 2-3 months to lose the rest of the weight. Just exercise and eat to be healthy and don't worry about the number. It really is true (although I hate it when people say it) that it took 9 months to put it on and it will more than likely take that long to get your body back.

You're doing great!

Clare said...

yup! it really does get easier...when harper's older it's easier to find a routine, she'll sleep more, be more predictable. survival is definitely the name of the game now for you! work out when you can. i'm with angela that breastfeeding is keeping a few pounds on. i quit worrying about it for now and focus just on trying to keep up my fitness (maintain, not get faster/better). a walk TOTALLY counts as a workout, so check it off for each dog! gym daycare is a lifesaver! i always tried to time it to naps too...didn't always work. but it was good practice for leaving her at real daycare when i went back to work! good luck.

Nitsirk said...

You might consider checking out the books "On Becoming Babywise" and "The Baby Whisperer." We used these to get Jack on a pretty predictable schedule. It has helped immensely. He eats every 3 hours and has since we started following the advice in the books. He is usually good for a 1-1.5 hour nap in that 3 hour window too. I am the same way though and it is killing me to not be able to do everything I want. I still have 20 lbs to lose and just had to go buy new clothes for when I go back to work. I had to face the reality that the 20 lbs wasn't coming off in the next 2 weeks.

Natalie D said...

I agree w/ everyone else- it gets easier for sure! I;m with you on the weight, hoping I will be back to normal after I'm done nursing.

Chelsea said...

Angela took the words out of my mouth. :) the one thing that jumped out at me was that you changed her diaper after feeding her in the middle of the night. The nurse at the hospital told us to change her diaper first and then feed her because it'll make it easier to put her back to sleep. I have to say, she was right! Hang in there-it will get easier!

Angela and David Kidd said...

This is the hardest time and it seems like it will NEVER end but it does. All of sudden one day you just realize that things got easier.

Do not worry about the weight. It will come off over time.

And I had a really hard time getting Zach on a schedule. I read every book on the subject. What I found helped was to get him on a routine but the timing might be thrown off. If I remember correctly my routine went something like wake up, change him, feed him, time in the exersaucer, tummy time, baby bjorn him, try for a nap or feed him. It just helped me to now what I was going to do next with him, even if it wasn't scheduled.

About Me

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Mnowac
distance runner attempting to run a marathon in every state, vegetarian foodie, mediocre triathlete, sucky swimmer, mommy to Harper, tea lover, coffee drinker, animal saver, hubby snuggler, race addict, full time working 31 year old living in cleveland
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Marathons so far

  • Sept 2012 - Corning, NY - TBD
  • April 2012 - Louisville, KY - TBD
  • Sept 2011 - Erie PA - 4:25
  • June 2011 - South Bend IN - 5 hrs+ (it was 98 degrees!)
  • Dec 2010 - Rehoboth Beach DE - 4:26:06
  • Nov 2010 - Huntington WV - 4:11:44
  • Oct 2009 - Towpath - Cleveland area OH - 4:30:35

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