"Home", I still call where I grew up home, but I guess at this point, being a mom and wife, Cleveland really is my home....but regardless I am at my mom's home in KY visiting family. 1 of my sisters Tina and her husband Tim live here as well. I left OH on Wed and drove first to Bloomington IN to visit my dear friend Jane and her 1 year old son Nils, it took about 7 hours. As luck would have it, another one of her friends Rachel was also in Bloomington for a few days staying with her. I have met Rachel before and really like her, she is 6 months preggo and already has a 2 year old. We had a great day and a half hanging out and talking about mom stuff! Plus we had pancakes! So there you go! I left IN on Thurs afternoon and made the 4 hour drive from there to Danville KY. On both trips Harper was very good. I felt really bad for her to have to sleep that whole time. She only cried once on the 7 hour trip. I stopped and fed her every few hours, it was tougher on me I think.

Since I've been here I have ran twice. Friday my BIL and I did our 8 mile long run, we are both training for the Akron half mary. I was really worried that I would crumple in the heat here, but it stormed the night before and cooled it off, so we had a great 8 mile run. Sat I went to their gym and lifted weights, maybe a bit too much as I am SORE today. This morning we did an easy 4 miler. So, I am so proud of myself for getting my workouts in and not eating too much junk. Something about being home makes me eat a bunch of crap, so far so good.

I turned 30 this past Thurs, ugh. My sister made a wonderful dinner of salmon with rice and lowcal strawberry shortcake. Everything was delicious and I was happy to have a nice happy bday meal! I can't believe I am 30. It always sounded so old to me. But I'm a mom now ands 30! Is life over? LOL, just kidding. Hope you are all having lovely weekends!

Sigh...tomorrow I leave for a week long trip with just me and Harper. I am DREADING the drive. Of course I am excited to see my family and friends, but the amount of stuff I have to pack for a baby is crazy and the amount of stops I have to take is just going to make the first and last day of this trip blow! But on the good side I get to go see my friend Jane and her gorgeous son Nils on Wed and then onto KY to stay with my mom. I am going to see a few friends from high school and they will get to meet Harper, so that is cool. And then on the way back home I am stopping in Cinti to see my friend Lauren and her lovely little girl Emma and maybe a few other Cinti friends will stop by. So, I will be really making the rounds this week. My brother in law and I are going to run an 8 miler while I am in Danville, which will be fun, but I am nervous about running in the heat down there. He is coming here to run Akron HM with my in Sept!

Speaking of running I had a good 5 miler this morning. I am happy it felt good b/c my long run wasn't so great. It was my first speed workout in a LONG time. In the past I've pretty much just run a lot of junk miles, but this time I am really going to try and apply myself and do the speedwork and tempo runs that the plan details. Also....my friend is training for Columbus. We always run together on the weekends anyway, so I have decided I am just going to do the long runs she has to do with her. I might just do Columbus. I know I said I wouldn't think about a marathon until I lose the weight, but if I train conservatively and the long runs feel okay, I might give it a shot. The time probably won't be any better than my first marathon, but if I just do it for fun and to learn more about what works for me in marathon training, it can only help my plans for a PR in a spring marathon. But I'll see how it goes. This is the first week I will run over 20 miles, so I need to see how my feet hold up. But I really miss the accomplised feeling of running for 3 or 4 hours!

This has not been a very good week. I wasn't feeling well for a few days and then Harper was totally off and cried a lot for 2 days straight. Then she took a giant dump and all was right with the world. Today was a much better day for her. A better day for me too, I went to Urban Iron class this morning and it left me pleasantly sore; my workouts from Sun thru Wed were absolutely sub par and off kilter though. And yes I know I was sick and I should cut myself some slack, but unfortunately my mood is way too closely tied to if I work out and how I am eating. My eating has not been good lately either and the scale is frozen. It's such a yucky cycle to want to lose weight, yet to just keep shoveling the cereal in your mouth. Food has always been my problem, but with 20-25 lbs left to lose I am going to have to toe the line and really be clean in my eating. I'm not necessarily eating bad things, just too much of everything and way too much snacky food and not enough fruit and veggies. I am shaking off my bad mood and "starting over" tomorrow.

On another note my work declined my part time proposal. So, it's full time or nothing. I know my answer to that, but haven't let them know yet. I will next week. I have been scouring the internet for work from home opporunities, there are actually some really good websites where you can bid on work - elance.com, odesk.com, virtualassistants.com. It's hard though b/c I haven't done any work on there before and most of the clients want you to be rated, you can't be rated until you've done work and so on...but hopefully I can scrounge up a few dollars off of these websites eventually. It's a lot of boring work like transcribing audio or posting spam on facebook, etc, but heck that's the type of work you can do with a baby. In the meantime I am trying to get rid of a stack of clothes in my closet on Ebay. Might as well make some scratch on the stuff I never wear. Maybe I should just have a big yard sale instead.....

I am also trying to learn the ins and outs of couponing. A few people I know swear they save hundreds a month by doing their coupon due diligence. I have found a few good coupon blogs. If I am going to stay home, I musttttt keep the bills down. It could be fun, trying to find the best bargains...yeah I'll just keep telling myself that. I have been using the cloth diapers at home and probably save 40 diapers a week. I don't use them exclusively, but they really aren't a big deal. Easy to wash, no biggie.

In the world of Harper, I bought her a projector mobile and we have used it 2 nights now and she loves looking at it and it seems to be helping her fall asleep faster and she is certainly more quiet as she falls back to sleep. I am going to KY next week to visit family and am not looking forward to disturbing our routines, but am looking forward to seeing everyone. I signed my BIL Tim and myself up for the Akron half, so I'll do my long run in KY with him. Which is great, but it's so hot there, so I hope I can get through the run. It's amazing the difference when you have to run in another climate.

I am running, not very well, but I am getting out there and pounding the pavement. I ran 10 miles last week and will be doing 16 this week. Next week I plan to start a training plan for the Akron Half marathon. I'd LOVE to think I could break 2 hours, but that is probably unrealistic at this point, but I would be happy with 2:05. The best HM I ever did was 1:59 and that was Nov 2007, so it's been awhile. But since that race I have only done one HM and I was pregnant, so that doesn't really count. I spent 2008 training for 2 marathons I never made it too and a few sprint tris, so I never did another half. I am trying to talk my BIL Tim into doing it with me, I've almost got him! He is faster than me, so I don't know that we'd run it together, but I'd love for him to do his first HM here and have this experience in his pocket. I am spending some time online looking for the perfect plan that will let me still incorporate the weight lifting classes and maybe a day of spinning. Weight loss is still my number one goal, but a HM plan should let me fit it all in and not leave me so hungry I eat myself out of house and home like I do when Mary training. I am also planning on doing the Muddy Paws 10 miler in July and will probably do another race in between that and the HM. I love HM's so I will probably do another one after Akron like the towpath or the West Side fall classic one the weekend before Turkey Day.

It is a gorgeous day here in Cleveland, sunny and cool. I got up early and took the dogs and Harper for a long walk. It's quite the production to push the stroller and walk 2 dogs, but I think I finally have my system down. I then followed it up with a 20 min ab DVD, ouch. Afterwards Harper and I ran some errands, I needed clothes. I lucked out at TJ Maxx and got a cute gray cargo type skirt and some khaki capris. Harper's car seat wouldn't fit into the TJ Maxx cart, so I had to schlep her car seat around the store, does that count as a workout :)

I am looking forward to the weekend. I am meeting up with my old running buddies for a 6 miler Sat morning, G will watch the baby. This is part of me returning to normalcy. It's been a long time since I felt like I could run with them. We usually do breakfast afterwards, which is my fav part, but I will have to skip this week b/c we are going to a parade at noon. Good times. Have a great weekend everyone.

I love that Harper is staring to get control over her head. Just over the last 2 weeks, she's gotten a lot more interactive. She will lay on her Baby Einstein activity mat and look at the hanging toys, at Laura's house yesterday she repeatedly tried to reach for one of the toys. She has gotten really into her pacifier and loves to suck it and will sit quietly while I do something with her pacy for like 15 mins. Just a bit a go I vacuumed upstairs and cleaned the bathroom and thought she was asleep, but I came down and she was just entertaining herself with her pacy. I am a lucky mom. She had a doc appt today (follow up with the nato neurologist, all clear, she is fine) and she weights 11 lbs! Check her out in her Bumbo chair, she's very pleased with herslf. Cute cupcake shirt courtesy of Aunt Laura and Uncle Ross.


The weight is not moving on the scale, but I am keeping up with my workouts. On Sunday and today I took the Urban Iron class and yesterday I ran 5 miles. This 5 miler was better than the one on Friday, but I still had to walk a little. Ugh. I know i just need to keep with it. The weight doesn't really bother me so much, I don't look THAT bad, what bothers me is that I have nothing to wear. I am sick of looking like a slob everyday. I really hate to buy clothes for this size. I did break down and buy workout clothes for this size and a pair of jeans. I don't want to be in shorts right now, so I guess I just need to find some capris that don't make me look too sloppy.

Okay so I finished up week #1 with a weight loss of about a lb, a little over on some days, but I'll call it a lb. I was hoping for better, but I know my eating wasn't really that clean, hellooo movie popcorn :) This weeks focus will be on clean eating, maybe I should check out that book JT was talking about on his blog....Diet is always my problem. Simply put I eat too much for a 5'2 lady. I know with breastfeeding I still need a lot of calories, so I am just trying to focus on eating most fruits and veggies and "real food". Last week I lost sight of that, I will refocus this week. I didn't make it to the gym but once last week, so my goal is for 3 times this week. Here is my plan - Iron Pump class today and a 2-3 mile run this evening, 5-6 mile run at Laura's on Mon, Tuesday spinning or bootcamp class, Wed 4-5 mile run, Thurs yoga & 3 mile run, Fri Iron pump class, Sat run 5-6. That would be my ideal week, now lets see if I can pull it off.

Gary and I went and saw the Hangover while his step mom watched Harper. I thought it would be a funny movie, but it was really good. I am so glad to see Andy from the Office get a big role, he was great. Truly worth the full movie price, which most comedies aren't. That was the first time Harper officially was babysat (aside from Laura watching her an hour while I ran) and she did just fine. We were gone about 3 hours and honestly I didn't fret or worry or even think about her at all, is that bad, lol. I just enjoyed the time out alone with my hubby. And I'm sure her grandma enjoyed the time snuggling with her.

In the world of Harper, she turned 7 weeks today, I just can't even hardly believe I am almost 2 months post partum. Harper is good, we still have gas issues. I have a hard time getting her back down after her middle of the night feeding. Now though it seems to be a combo of her being wide awake b.c I have been putting her down earlier, around 9-10, and the gas. I usually give up after about an hour and climb into the nursery bed and put her uprightish on the boppy and let her sleep next to me. So, she is sleeping in her crib from about 9/10-2 (she might wake up around 12 for a quick feed and goes back down), but after that 2 or 3 o'clock feeding we have a tough time the rest of the morning she is up and down. She is totally able to self soothe herself, I put her down half awake the first part of the night and just let her work it out. I may pat her belly or talk to her, but I try not to take her back out of the crib. I hope this sets us up for success in the future. She is smiling and starting to make cooing noises, those totally melt my heart of course. I am having an aggressive overflow issue with my milk (read: I squirt the poor dear in the face horribly), I fear that this is the root of all of her gas issues. That or a dairy intolerance, I am working on both. I am only feeding her on one side at a time to try and get my supply under control (thank you kellymom.com for the useful tips) and I started to cut out dairy 2 days ago. We'll see if the dairy is part of this at all in about a week. I used to be lactose intolerant and then it magically went away when I was preggo, so cutting out dairy is no big deal to me. After talking to a few mom who had success with gas issues after cutting milk protein from their diet, I figure it can't hurt to try.

Also I am reading a great book called The Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg, I wish I had read it before the baby got here. But I really like her techniques and will be working to incorporate them into our days. Speaking of our days....I sent my boss my part time proposal, so I should know what my days will be like in the next week or so.

I made it through my first week without Gary. I got in all my workouts and all my self appointed chores, lol. I made a daily list of a household work I want to get done. Mon. is vacuuming/dusting the upstairs bedroom & nursery, Tues. is cleaning both bathrooms, Wed. is mopping the kitchen, Thurs. is mopping the hardwoods on the first floor and vacuuming the staircase, Fri. is dusting/straightening the dining & living room. I'm sure you are all enthralled. I like order and lists so this gives me something to work towards so the house doesn't go to hell. I also got some good workouts in. Today I went to my friend Laura's house and I ran 5 miles while she watched Harper and her son Nate, then she ran for an hour while I watched both kids. It seemed to work out well. The 5 miler was okay, I walked some, it took me like 55 mins, which sucks, but it is what it is and it's my first week of consistent workouts. I managed to workout all 5 days. I am sore and feeling a little fatigued, like normal me, I pushed myself a little too much this week. I will probably just lay low tomorrow. I also got in a strength DVD & class and a yoga DVD, as well as 4 total runs and a lot of walking. I have been meeting my friend Sara for a 4 mile walk each week with Harper that has been nice.

I did go into work, but didn't get much of a chance to talk to my boss, still mulling that whole thing over in my mind. Continues to change daily.

Harper slept like a champ last night and only woke up one time for a 10 min feeding. She has been out like a light since 9 pm tonight, so I don't know if that is a good sign or not. I kind of fear a long night b/c she didn't seem to eat that much today. Wish me luck. Here is a video of her working on some gas, thought my family might like to hear her voice:

So with Harper being 6 weeks old, that also means I only have 6 weeks off of work left. I am still not sure if I am going back to work. It is a decision that weighs heavily on me every single day. I flip flop constantly. Believe me, if money wasn't an issue it wouldn't even be a question, I'd stay home. I want to. I am just worried about living on a tight budget and then also about finding another job when the time comes; bc even if I stayed home it'd only be for like a year. Ideally I'd love to stay home until she is in preschool, but I doubt we can afford that and I'd be scared to have that big of a gap in my resume. I worked hard to finally get into a position that pays well and allows me a lot of responsibility and measurable growth, however its not a job I am in love with by any means. The only real plus is that I really like my direct boss and team co-workers. The issue is that when I go back/if I go back there is a lot of talk (behind my back) of switching me to another team that needs good project mngrs. But I'll just leave it at that as I know I shouldn't blog about work. I keep coming back to the fact that when I am 80 I will not regret the fact that I didn't have new clothes or a better road bike, I will regret the fact that someone else was the first one to hear my baby laugh or see her take her first steps....argh.

On another note that means I have 6 weeks to get in the best shape I can. If I go back to work it will be MUCH harder to get my workouts in. So starting today, June 1st I will really be busting my ass, especially in the food dept. I hope to lose 10-15 lbs of the 20ish I need to lose by then. A tall order I know, but I have been pretty lax since I had yhe baby so I know eating cleaner and working out everyday will help. Wish me luck.