Friday, February 1, 2008

I love you dad

My father, Skip , passed away Monday morning at his residence. He had not been sick and I am thankful for that, there is no way my dad could have dealt with a long illness. He died in his sleep and when my mom found him his dogs were all wrapped around him. That is the way he would have wanted it.

My dad was a lot of things to a lot of people. He seemed to have many different personalities and depending on who you talked to you would hear about a different Skip - a golf buddy, a co worker, a former employee, a friend from the The Red Rooster or H&A where he ate breakfast every morning. If he was anything he was a hard worker, he started out as an electrician in his teenage years and built his own successful electrical contracting business and ran it with my mom for over 20 years. When there were storms my dad would be out working for days at a time, only coming home to change into some dry clothes and grab a sandwich before heading back out. He was an intense man and a man of few words, yet sometimes he could be really funny and he liked to laugh. I remember as a child watching In Living Color and Married With Children with him, when my other friends weren't even allowed to watch that "trash". But for the most part, when I think about my dad he is mostly in the background. He was present when he was supposed to be, but we never had a tight relationship. But I don't remember that ever bothering me. I had a happy childhood and didn't expect anymore from my dad than what I got. And when he did pay attention to me, I remember always having a lot of fun with him. I am his youngest daughter and by the time I came around my parents were done struggling and I had a pretty cushy existance. As I stood at the funeral and all these faces spiraled past me telling me these wonderful stories and memories about my dad I went through some very mixed emotions. I couldn't think of any distinct stories to get up and tell. As the Chaplain was calling for people to speak, I kept thinking I wanted to get up there, but was afraid as soon as I did I would have broken down. Also I just couldn't think of a story to tell. I wanted something witty, an ancedote to describe my dad, but couldn't come up with anything. Of course afterwards I regretted not getting up there and just speaking from my heart. So, I will write what I should have said here:

All night long people have been coming up to me and telling me they knew I was Skip's daughter b/c I look just like my mom Becky. And I certainly do, you could call us clones, but you would be very wrong. I may look like my mom, but I am my father's daughter, for better or worse, I act just like Skip . I am a hard worker, animal lover and like to laugh, but I am also hard headed and short tempered and most of all impatient. Just like my dad I find myself in my car waiting for everyone else to hurry up and come on. Always in hurry, never enough time to slow down and appreciate what is around you, ALWAYS walking 5 steps ahead of whoever I am with. That was my dad and that is me. I am my fathers daughter. 2 peas in a pod. When he wouldn't listen to anyone else he always seemed to listen to me. In the past few years we became a lot closer and talked a lot more and I am very happy for that. He left behind 5 daughters and 6 wonderful grandchildren. There have been many missed opportunities for togetherness in our family over the years. With my dad's sudden passing I have learned a hard lesson, there is never enough time. I am going to take the time to get to know my family better. Like we should of when Dad was here. I love my father very much, I never wanted for anything and he did the best he could for us. But as we lay him to rest, I hope I can learn from his mistakes. To everyone sitting here today. Make sure to tell the people that you care about, how you feel. Take the time to visit with that old friend that you never call. That sister, that you are a little bit mad at, for god knows what - forget about it. Because tomorrow could be the day you are called home.


triguyjt said...

you mightnot have said something at the funeral, but you said alot just now...very nice tribute to your dad.. the pic on wedding day is priceless...
hope time eases the hurt

B Bop said...

Very touching tribute Monica. Now, we all know where your stubbornness and drive comes from ;-)

Wishing you strength in such a tough time.

Joshua Middleton said...

Monica, that was such a sweet story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. We could all do good to learn those lessons, and who better to learn them from than people who have been there.

I am glad to hear that you seem strong and are making the most out of the situation. I didn't know your Dad well, only saw him in passing a few times - but from your description he sounds like an honest, good natured person who has made the world and those around him a little better by simply existing.

I have been thinking of you and your family all week and will continue to do so. I am particularly concerned about your mom. I hope she finds an easy way to adjust to her new life.

I love you and am here if you need me.


DaisyDuc said...

Beautifully said. Such truth in telling others how much you care and letting the little things go!

Charlie said...

Monica,I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I saw my dad today and told him I love him, but I do not do it nearly enough. You remind me that I should.
I will be thinking of you in hopes that you and your family will come through this thorny patch with the same strength and resiliency your dad showed as he faced all of those storms.

Papa Louie said...

Thank you for sharing your love you have for your father. May you continue to find strength and peace from the example your father was to you and your family.

supalinds said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

What a wonderful tribute.

And that picture of you and him...beautiful.

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distance runner attempting to run a marathon in every state, vegetarian foodie, mediocre triathlete, sucky swimmer, mommy to Harper, tea lover, coffee drinker, animal saver, hubby snuggler, race addict, full time working 31 year old living in cleveland
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Marathons so far

  • Sept 2012 - Corning, NY - TBD
  • April 2012 - Louisville, KY - TBD
  • Sept 2011 - Erie PA - 4:25
  • June 2011 - South Bend IN - 5 hrs+ (it was 98 degrees!)
  • Dec 2010 - Rehoboth Beach DE - 4:26:06
  • Nov 2010 - Huntington WV - 4:11:44
  • Oct 2009 - Towpath - Cleveland area OH - 4:30:35

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